is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Randomize
