I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
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I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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