Me too!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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