i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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