have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
