I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
