dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
