I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
