And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
