Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
