Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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