Apparently you make a good broom.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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