An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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