i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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