he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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