I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
