Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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