I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it hurts more in the daytime
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
