The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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