I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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