why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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