Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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