And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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