doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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