You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
