you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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