just tell him i said nine months
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
