Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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