How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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