I think my vagina is haunted
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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