So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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