Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
