your parents love me but you hate me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
