the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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