Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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