When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
