To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
