Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
