just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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