babies were throwing up all over the place
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
