Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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