I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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