maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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