I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
