Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As shirtless as possible
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
