What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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