so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize