i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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