he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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