just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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