Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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