the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
