im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
