How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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