we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
