Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
