did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
