shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
